Review for 2x01 'In My Time Of Dying'

[galathea]

Three months full of waiting and anxiousness and finally we get to the second season and I for one am not disappointed, but shocked, grievous and deeply touched by this episode. So forgive me if I am not very coherent here and jump around a bit.



We start off with a kick-ass rock recap of S1 and I LOVE it! Man, they can do it every time an episode starts and I won't get tired of the clips, so well done. While I am a huge fan of the short bluish lightning opening title, I have to say the new flamish one looks awesome as well and hey, if they change it every season, I can live with it. Love how for a split second the A turns into a pentagram ... neat!

I love the fact that we start exactly where we left the boys, in the crushed Impala. I was a tad surprised that Sam was up and awake again so soon, but he was the farthest away from the impact so it made some sense. He is so determined to not let the demon get his family, even willing to use the last bullet from the Colt in order to protect his father and brother and I love that. Jared seriously killed me in this episode with the emotion he carried into every scene! There is a slight continuity error here, because in Devil's Trap Sam mentioned that they are just 10 minutes away from the next hospital, so it shouldn't be full daylight when the helicopters arrive to get them out of there.

I just love the teaser, with Dean getting up, confused and calling out for his brother first thing! ♥ I love how the camera slowly pans back and shows the huge red EXIT sign in the upper right corner and Dean running straight in the opposite direction. It’s so telling for his behaviour throughout the whole episode. I am just a sucker for symbolic stuff like that. ♥ If Jared kills me with the emotions he brings into every scene, Jensen just impresses me again, displaying the several stages of Dean processing his own death subtly but intense. I have never seen Dean so quiet and subdued like in this episode and Jensen just nails the confusion, desperation and determination of his character perfectly. ♥

Even with finding himself dying in a hospital bed, Dean's first thoughts go out to his family, wondering if they are alright. His overwhelming happiness at seeing Sam alive and well is palpable and I love how he snaps at his brother just a moment later, begging him to lay some mojo on him if necessary. Given his dislike of all things supernatural it clearly emphasises his desperation that he even considers using non-natural forces. On the surface he may be calm and confident, but it's visible that it is a facade and that he is terrified beneath. It's great though, that amidst all the tragedy they brought in little moments of levity, by giving Dean a lot of funny onliners.

John and Sam are still tense. Sam is clearly still frustrated about John expressing his anger over Sam not killing the demon and he is all too ready to assume a second motive behind everything John says, accusing him to not care enough about Dean, so they are soon at each others throats again. I am glad though that they are level-headed enough to think about the Impala and its 'contents' and phoned Bobby to get the car.

And man, what a wreck our beloved Impala is! I love Sam's first incredulous reaction when he sees the car: 'Oh man, Dean is gonna be pissed!', which soon turns into exasperation. For Sam the Impala is an extension of Dean and Bobby’s suggestion to just scrap the car visibly shakes him, clearly drifting from talking about saving the Impala to saving his brother. He won’t give up on Dean, no matter how desolate the situation may seem, there’s really no other option in Sam’s mind, he can't lose Dean now, even less than he could 6 months ago.

The scene with John at Dean's bed, taciturn, pensive and clearly hurting to see his son lying there, is beautiful. I love that Dean is out of focus and blurry, when he starts talking to John, emphasising his ghostly state, until the camera zooms in on him. For the first time in 23 years he is confronting John about his seemingly cold behaviour, and it's incredibly sad that he can only go there when John can't actually hear him. And I can only repeat it, damn, Jensen breaks my heart in this scene 'I've given everything I've ever had', a mixture of anger and plea and desperation, even for the usually stoic Dean there is a point to fully question his father and it seems to be on his death bed and not earlier.

The reaper CGI was incredibly well done, very spooky and ethereal. It's so typical Dean to follow the apparition and instantly focus on it. Dean always needs to be in control of a situation, to be active and the hunt redirects the feelings of powerlessness towards his current situation into something productive, giving him something to do besides mulling over his nearing death.

And then John and Sam get into their next fight and Dean is helplessly watching them again going at each others throat and unlike in Dead Man's Blood he can't just go between them and order them to stop. And his frustration is written all over his face, slowly turning to anger until he goes all Patrick Swayze. Love his puzzled look and the way he delivers that line.

John and Sam's argument is clearly a continuation of the dialogue they started in the car and gets totally out of hand, both directing the blame to the other. Sam now completely switched places, showing how fully he came to understand Dean's point of view on revenge and the priority of family, blaming John for the same obsession he clearly shared during the final episodes of last season. John on the other hand scolds Sam again for not killing the demon, placing the responsibility for Dean's condition on his youngest son, regretting that despite his reservations he involved his boys in the hunt for the demon. It's a futile circle of arguments (again it gives a very good insight in the fights they had in the past) and as John points out later it's pretty much only a lot of head-butting. And Sam's angry 'Go to Hell' was a nice foreshadowing of the coming events and I am pretty sure that Sam will beat himself up over that outburst for the rest of the season.

I wonder if it is the frustration over John and Sam's fight that leads to Dean flatlining, as if his grip on life is fading with his growing irritation with his family. The resuscitation scene is heart-wrenching, Sam’s desperation is tangible, gripping the doorframe, with tears in his eyes, disbelieving at the scene that plays out in front of him and then being overwhelmingly relieved when his brother dodged the bullet. And of course it is Dean who tells Sam not to worry, even when he can't hear him, needing to reassure his brother, maybe just a little bit for his own sake as well. The way Dean keeps talking to Sam and John, despite his knowledge that communication with them is impossible, just moves me, it’s a lovely transference of his habit to talk to himself when he is alone. As a side note: I loved the nod to his dialogue with Sam from Wendigo, pointing out that he can kill the creature as long as it is corporeal.

Dean: "Well, that's crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what."

Enter Tessa, I really liked her character and I loved Dean's interaction with her. In the beginning, when she fools him into believing that she is just in the same situation as he is, he instantly jumps into caretaker mode, trying to reassure her, finding rational explanations for their current state, trying to ease fear by cracking subtle jokes. I love how he instantly cuts through her 'everything is fate' crap and states that he firmly believes in having choices. Supernatural’s take on the question of fate and destiny versus choice is interesting to look at:

There are probably a dozen different definitions of the terms 'fate' and 'free will' but if we define fate as pre-determined to come to pass, no matter what course of action a person takes and that any choice simply is an illusion, maintained by ignorance, then I am firmly on the side of free will. Like Dean, I do think that we always have a choice, but that the choice we make is mostly determined by who we are at a certain point in time. If we were given full insight we can probably pretty accurately predict how a certain person decides in a defined situation and if that person would be in the exact same circumstances as before, they would very likely make the same choice again, rather than a random choice. So my personal intake on the question of fate vs free will is that the latter exists, but that it is not random but determined in terms of psychological and sociological factors.

When it comes to SN it’s clear they are playing more on the side of choice than fate as well. If we concede that Tessa's statement 'You are living on borrowed time already' is alluding to Dean’s life being unnaturally prolonged by Marshall Hall’s death for him in Faith, then Dean was clearly meant to die after the electrocution, but Sam's choice to fight for his brother's life instead of accepting 'fate' prevented that. Also, as Sam mentions in the Ouja board scene: If the reaper is after Dean because his time is up (which Tessa confirms in her dialogue with Dean "You are not getting back in your body and that's just facts!") his death can't be prevented (fate) but John manages it nonetheless, therefore strongly suggesting the theory that in the SN universe at least an inevitable fate does not exist. It’s more reinforcing the opposition of natural versus supernatural and possibility versus certainty.

The same applies to Nightmare: We don't know, what is causing Sam's visions, but if they are a ‘true' premonition about what is destined to happen to the persons he has visions about, he and Dean wouldn't be able to stop them, so Max's mother or Monica from Salvation would have died, no matter, what course of action the brothers would have taken.

Sam: "Hey. I think maybe you're around. And if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but uhm, well, there's one way we can talk."

The Ouja-board scene was so incredibly cute and touching and on top of it, it was filmed beautifully, with the camera circling around Sam, Dean alternately being in and out of frame, emphasizing his incorporeal existence. I love how Sam anticipates that Dean will make fun of him and his relieved laughter when he realizes that Dean is indeed still there is heart-warming. Relief soon turns to worry again though, when he learns about the Reaper and it's so telling that even if he might have one fight after another with John, his father is the first person he turns to when it comes to finding a solution for Dean’s predicament! 'Dad will know what to do', they always fall back on that security. But Dad isn't there. He is in the basement preparing for summoning the demon. Anybody can tell me why it is always Boiler Rooms? Nice nod to Asylum. ;)

Sam returning to Dean’s bedside, just being there with him, looking for physical closeness and the sincerely grateful and loving look Dean shoots his brother when he thanks him for not giving up on him, once again breaks my heart. The same goes for the scene later on, when Sam pleads with Dean to hang on, admitting how much he needs him, his voice thick with affection. Damn, they know how to rip out my heart in this episode. Even if Sam can't stop himself from getting into a fight with John time and again, he is clearly aware of the dynamics between the three of them, with Dean always trying to play peacekeeper. I am happy he is able to at least acknowledge that here, since we saw him snap at Dean more than once in earlier episodes, when he tried to pacify Sam towards John. Sam and John without Dean would drift apart within a short span of time. Dean is the glue holding the family together and both Sam and John admit to that fact in this episode! ♥

Tessa: "Death is nothing to fear. It's your time to go, Dean. You're living on borrowed time already."

One of the core moments in this episode is Dean's talk to Tessa and her subtle and gentle attempt to convince Dean to let go. I can't even begin to describe how deeply touching that scene was. ♥ I love that there was nearly no music in that scene, just quietness, muted lights and their hushed voices. When Dean tries to bargain with death, after his initial anger, he is so lost and desperate; we've never seen him like that before. It’s so typical for Dean to not show any concerns for his life for his own sake, but only in relation to his family. His first thought naturally goes out to them, Sam in particular, afraid what would become of his brother once he isn’t there anymore to protect him.

Tessa’s revelation that if he chooses to hold on to his life, he will inevitably turn into the very thing he hunts, an angry spirit, visibly shakes him to the core and his determination wavers. While I think that as a hunter Dean must theoretically be aware of the process that leads to angry spirits being born, he just wasn’t able to apply that concept to himself before Tessa pointed it out to him again. His self-image didn’t allow for that kind of transference and the realization of his fate is the only thing able to override his concern for his family. The acceptance of the truth in what Tessa tells him goes hand in hand with the acceptance of his own death, he’s ready to go in the end, at least that’s what I read from his expression. I love how sympathetic Tessa is, so gentle and understanding and caring for Dean's choice here and I can’t help but wonder if she goes through that trouble with every resistant soul.

Demon: "You still need to sweeten the pot!"

In the meantime John is summoning the demon and striking a deal for his son’s life. I have to say that this was the only scene in this emotionally rich episode that partly irritated me. So, if John knew how to summon the demon all along, why didn't he do that earlier? Or at least after he got the Colt? Why following leads criss-cross around the country, trying to hunt him down if he could simply summon him to his side? That doesn't make much sense to me. From the confrontation between John and the demon we learn that John knows a lot more about Sam and the other psychic kids than he told his sons and I am very curious about what that is actually and how he got hold of that much information. It’s of course typical for John to keep his sons on a strict need to know basis ever since they were reunited and in the end he might have done more harm with that policy than he intended.

Another interesting point: The demon needed to possess someone when being conjured. Have his appearances in the Pilot and Salvation also been possessions? At least in the latter episode the way he just dissolves when Sam shoots at him suggested that he was disembodied. Anyway, it is painfully obvious, that the YED just could have killed John there and then but refrains from it because he sees a way better opportunity coming up. While John clearly came with the intention to only offer the YED the Colt, he shows no hesitation to throw his own life in to make him accept the deal. In Dead Man’s Blood John already stated that he didn’t really expect to come out of this fight alive, accepting of his own death long ago, but never willing to accept the death of one of his sons, unable to go through the pain of losing them as well, which kind of foreshadowed his decision here.

The exchange between John and the demon was also interesting because the overall tone of their conversation and the YED’s eagerness to lay his hands on John’s soul, suggested that they were old acquaintances, which makes me think that there may be a connection between the Winchesters and the demon that we don’t know of yet, or that at least John was onto more than I even suspected during that last year. He mentioned the demon has tried to stop him before in Shadow, so who knows the whole story behind that. I am really curious to learn more about that!

John: "You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that! And you never complained, not once!"

John's final words to Dean: Whoa, okay, that just blew me away. ♥ I know I am often hard on John for how he handles things and I still am, but I never doubted that he deeply loves his sons. John makes sure that his last words to his firstborn are not only about his love for him, though that’s in there as well, but mainly about Dean as a person. An acknowledgement of Dean’s immense importance for this family, of the sacrifices he made and of his commitment to Sam and John. For once John is honest, open and shows no restraint emotion when he tells him how proud he is of him.

It’s an appreciation Dean desperately needs to hear from his father, pointing back to the scene in Devil’s Trap where possessed!John said something similar to him and Dean wasn't able to accept the praise, instantly suspecting his father of not being himself. Dean looks touched, confused and terrified at the same time, because he knows something is seriously wrong. But unlike with Sam in Salvation, whom he stopped from giving his farewell speech, he let's John go through with it. When he admits with the small voice of a 4 year old that John is scaring him, it's like a switch 23 years back to a father comforting his frightened child. Both Jensen and Jeff knocked this emotional exchange out of the park! ♥

While my heart goes out to the father who says goodbye to his son, I am angry again with the man who at the same time burdens him with a secret that seems to shatter Dean’s world if his horrified expression is anything to go by. Whatever it was that John told Dean, the fact that he excludes Sam from that talk makes it clear that it has something to do with him and Dean keeping a secret about Sam is something that sooner or later might explode in their faces and drive a wedge between the brothers again. :(

Anyway, I am happy that Dean got this moment with his father and I am so sad that Sam didn't. Whatever the reasons for John to exclude Sam, the fact that he had no chance to make peace with his youngest son will probably be another drag und undisclosed burden for Sam throughout the season. When he runs over to John’s fallen body, crying for help, instantly reverting from rebellious to frightened, holding his barely recovered brother up as they watch their father die, I knew we just saw the setup for a season full of family drama and angst. And I really want to know what John told Dean. Damn, I am sure we will wait for the end of the season for that LOL.

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Did you notice? When the Reaper goes after the sick little girl and Dean runs towards her room you can hear the nurse call for Dr. Kripke over the voice speaker! A joke from director Phil Sgriccia.