Review for 2x20 'What Is and What Should Never Be'

[galathea]

Man, can someone please explain to me, why I allow a TV show to rip my heart out on a regular basis? *g* Judging from the previews, I feared that this episode will show us an alternative Dean - probably a not very likeable one - in an alternative world, instead the writers chose to simply transfer the real Dean into a different context and confront him with unusual circumstances, thus showing us new facets of the character. Raelle Tucker once again proved her excellent grip on the characters with this episode and delivered a script that is unequalled in depth and range. She is without a doubt my favourite writer on the show ♥ This review is pretty long and even more rambly than usual, so feel free to just skip it! :)



First off, I think the fact that the episode puts an unexpected twist on the djinn myth creates a really interesting story angle. Since the djinn doesn't fabricate an actual alternate reality, but simply constructs a dream world from Dean’s subconsciousness - based on his wish of Mary being alive - we have to conclude that everything we see in Dean’s fantasy derives from his own perception of himself and the people close to him. It is based on his own emotions and memories, because that's the only raw material the djinn had access to. That this particular dream world is drawn from Dean’s subconsciousness is supported by the fact that Carmen is fashioned after the advertisement model for Dean's favourite beer. Furthermore, the college professor - who Dean visits to learn more about djinns - almost exactly repeats Sam's earlier lecture about djinns and beyond that he is vague and evasive. Obviously the professor couldn’t tell Dean more than he already knew, he is only a made-up character in Dean’s mind, after all.

Anyway, this twist makes the episode infinitely more interesting compared to a simple alternative reality, because it offers us deeper insight into Dean's character. Instead of using the whimsical premise of the episode to indulge in superficial comedy, Raelle Tucker took the opportunity to utilise it as a narrative tool for character exploration, and I am very happy about that. Overall the episode remains amazingly consistent with the Dean we got to know in the show so far. We may not learn a lot of new things about Dean, but everything we already know about the character is put in a very precise context and as a result Dean's characterisation is deepened considerably. Personally, I think that What Is and What Should Never Be is about the contrast between the image Dean likes to show the world and the person that lies behind that image. In his fantasy Dean is confronted with his own subconscious perception of the world, thus revealing the internal struggle of who Dean is and who he wants to be.

I think it's significant that this episode comes right after Hollywood Babylon and Folsom Prison Blues, where Dean seemed to get his optimism and his enthusiasm for the hunt back, at least on the surface. While Folsom Prison Blues at least fleetingly conveyed in the more contemplative moments for Dean that his at times cheery demeanour is nothing but a defence mechanism and that deep down everything that happened over the last couple of months still very much eats away at him, What Is and What Should Never Be fully exposes the extent of Dean's issues. It shows us his doubts and insecurities, as well as his unrealised dreams and wishes, and as such it is a fascinating character study.

Sam: "Since when do you call me 'Sammy'? Dean, c'mon, we don't talk outside of holidays."
Dean: "We don't? Well, we should. I mean, you're my brother!"

Above all, I think it's fascinating that Dean’s subconsciousness creates a world here in which his family is safe and happy, but he himself isn’t a real part of that family. He is alienated from Sam, and Dean and Mary don't seem particularly close either, considering her confused reaction to his unexpected visit. While Dean is distraught when he realises that he isn’t close to Sam in this 'reality' - after all, Sam pretty much comprises family, best friend and partner for Dean - it's clear that somewhere in his subconsciousness obviously still lingers the idea that if Sam pursues his own life, he will inevitably be estranged from Dean. That's an interesting reference back to Shadow, where Dean was convinced that Sam's desire to follow his own dreams and Dean's wish for them to be a family are mutually exclusive. Given Dean's deep seated fear of abandonment, it's not surprising that he wasn't able to comprehend that Sam didn't reject him, but their dangerous and itinerant lifestyle. However, Dean's resolution to mend his relationship with Sam shows that now, two years after he reunited with his brother, Dean is willing to accept that he and Sam can be close as a family, even if their life concepts are different. ♥

In any case, Dean's subconscious, alternate version of Sam is distant, irritable and even condescending towards him. Sam looks down on his brother, rejects the 'Sammy' endearment and cautiously takes a step back, whenever Dean takes a step towards him. It's very telling though that Sam isn't dismissive of Dean out of spite, but because in this 'reality' Dean treated him badly. I think it's utterly heartbreaking that even in his own private wishverse Dean isn’t able to constitute himself as anything but a failure and disappointment in the eyes of those he values most - as a drunkard and gambler, as someone who steals from his own mother and treats Sam and Mary with disrespect. Dean's subconscious version of himself is the exact opposite of who he is in reality, and that reveals how little Dean thinks of himself. He clearly projects his own self-worth issues on his subconscious versions of Sam and Mary.

As a side note: However distant Sam's behaviour towards Dean, his tone and expressions are also laced with affection at times, and I wonder if that is a deliberate directing choice - showing that at least on some level Dean knows that Sam loves him - or if Jared just couldn’t help himself. Both Jensen and Jared stated in interviews that the episode took them out of their comfort zones with the characters and that it was difficult for them to act opposite the usual closeness between the brothers.

Dean: "You know, I get it."
Carmen: "Get what?"
Dean: "Why you're the one."

Then there is Dean's live-in girlfriend Carmen. First of all, I have to say that I am very happy that unlike in Route 666 the actress actually has chemistry with Jensen and that her character is depicted as loveable, mature and warm in nature. I really love that Dean imagines his ideal woman to be a nurse, a profession that would deeply resonate with Dean's own caring personality. I think the addition of Carmen to his private world speaks volumes about Dean’s longing for a loving long-term relationship. It at least suggests that his attempt to settle down with Cassie wasn’t just a random whim and that his carefully constructed outward image as a womaniser is nothing but an adjustment to his life on the road. After all, their constant travelling doesn't exactly lend itself to a stable relationship. Carmen is especially interesting because she not only accepts Dean with all his quirks and flaws, but she also looks deeper - past the brash and 'low standards' image Dean likes to project of himself - and acknowledges the generous and caring person behind that image.

I think it's fascinating that Dean subconsciously places this kind of recognition and acceptance of who he really is on someone outside his own family, which suggests that he feels that his family doesn't really 'get' him. However, as Carmen easily points out to Dean, Sam doesn't really know him all that well - a sentiment I am sure Dean himself believes to be true, on some level at least - and if the brothers would spend more time together, Sam would appreciate Dean more. Since Carmen is part of Dean's subconsciousness, her suggestion shows to me that Dean recognises his own tendency to hide his true feelings and inner conflicts behind his 'game face' as an obstacle to a truly equal relationship with his brother. In any case, I think that this contrast between his family on the one hand, and Carmen on the other hand, reveals the discrepancy between how Dean wants to be loved and how he perceives himself to be loved. He wants to be loved for who he is, and not for fulfilling the expectations placed on him, i.e. being a good son or a good brother. Not that he isn't both of that anyway, but that's not all he is. Now, obviously Dean's assessment of Sam's feelings (or John's feelings for that matter) isn't necessarily true, it's simply his subjective perspective, no doubt influenced by his own self-esteem issues.

Dean: "I want to stay here."
Mary: "Why?"
Dean: "Because I miss the place."

It’s intriguing that even in Dean's very own dream world John is still dead. I actually don’t really care if that's a simple result of the fact that Jeffrey Dean Morgan wasn’t available; I think it fits better with the overall mood of the episode anyway. While I am sure that Dean has come to terms with John’s death by now, at least to some extent, he is obviously also still angry at his father, and hence it is impossible for him to just conjure up a happy version of John, if only in his mind. After all, 22 years of living with an obsessed and bitter father are not easily eradicated. Instead, Dean's subconsciousness gives his father a peaceful departure, thus allowing him to leave his anger with John behind in this 'reality'.

Now, Mary’s memory, on the other hand, isn’t burdened with that kind of ballast, and the hearfelt joy Dean displays when he reunites with his beloved mother is wonderful to watch. ♥ It’s very in character for Dean to distrust the gift at first and to check if the woman in front of him really is Mary, before he allows himself to embrace what he wants the most in his life: the love of his mother. Since Mary is created from the memory of a four year old child, it's unsurprising that there is no in-depth characterisation for her. She is an ideal - the loving, warm and nurturing caretaker of Dean's childhood. I think it's especially noteworthy that Mary is such a physically affectionate person. She constantly touches Dean, reassuringly patting him or tenderly striking his face. The way Dean leans into her touches, clearly savouring the contact, suggests to me that physical intimacy is something he craved as a kid and that John wasn’t very forthcoming in that regard. Not that he was incapable of showing physical affection - the hug between John and his sons in Shadow demonstrates that clearly - but casual, regular, loving touches may not have been his forte.

In any case, the fact that Dean obviously enjoys the simple domesticity of his family life, puts Dean's harsh opposition to the 'apple pie life' - as expressed for example in Bugs - into perspective. Dean already admitted back in No Exit that part of him regrets to be trapped in the hunter's life, and I think the fact that his dream world reveals a deep seated appreciation for the merits of a family and the white picket fence shows that, in the end, his outward categorical rejection of a normal life is simply a defence mechanism. That's not to say that Dean doesn't also love his job, but his motivation for hunting has always been complex. He obviously enjoys hunting in itself, it’s something he is competent at and he clearly has a genuine desire to help people. However, Dean never really had a choice and while he accepted and even embraced the life John forced upon him, he also admitted in Skin that he gave up his own dreams in order to follow in the family business. The Winchesters sacrificed a lot over the years. They not only lost Mary, Jess and John, but also forfeit social and financial security as well as personal happiness for the greater good. So, I think it's no surprise that at least part of Dean has a genuine longing for a less demanding life.

Dean: "Your happiness for all those peoples' lives? No contest, right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, dad?

Dean’s monologue at John's grave is the most heartbreaking moment in this episode for me. He confronts his dead father with the question he never dared to ask when he was still alive: "Why me?" He is the struggling hero here, who questions his path, as the personal sacrifices become too much to bear. Dean's realisation that in this reality everyone he ever saved as a hunter died, because he wasn't there to prevent it, reiterates the lesson he already learned back in Something Wicked, namely that if he pursues his own 'selfish' dreams/needs, someone else suffers for it. Again, that doesn’t necessarily mean that this is true, it just shows that even after all these years Dean subconsciously still sees his choices in life as practically non-existent. John instilled such a deep seated sense of responsibility into Dean that he isn't really able to choose personal happiness over duty. Furthermore, Dean's conviction that his father would tell him that his own happiness only comes second to the safety of others, speaks volumes about how he perceives his own place in John's esteem. Even when he is in serious distress, in Dean's mind John is ever the sergeant, never the father.

Another thing that strikes me about this scene is the fact that Dean decides to not only sacrifice his own happiness in favour of saving all those people, but also Sam and Mary's. After all, in that very moment he doesn't know that this life is simply an illusion. He believes it to be the real deal, a new reality, where his mother is alive and Sam lives the life he always wanted. The fact that Dean is prepared to make that hard decision and live with the consequences, knowing that he took that life away again from Sam and Mary, is impressive. By deciding to end this reality Dean not only consciously takes the burdens of his old life back, but also adds a new one - it's a no-win situation really. Later, in the warehouse, where Dean already knows that this life is only a djinn induced fantasy, the decision to end it all poses no real challenge though. No matter how much Dean wants to stay for his own sake, there is no way that he could live contentedly, knowing that Sam is still out there, depending on him. It’s the The Matrix question: 'Red pill or blue pill? Ignorance or knowledge?' And 'ignorance is bliss' is something Dean never really believed in.

Anyway, I think the final 'wishverse' scene, where Mary, Carmen, Jess and Sam plead with Dean to stay with them, is intriguing, because in the end they are only representations of Dean’s own inner voices. Mary represents Dean’s longing for love, comfort, safety and home, Carmen his desire for a family of his own and Jessica his wish for Sam to have the normal life he ever wanted. Finally, I think the fact that Sam repeats Dean's earlier question if he hasn't sacrificed enough, shows that he represents Dean's own internal struggle with his decision to end this fantasy. In the end though this internal argument Dean has with himself is decided by duty (towards the people he saves) and love (for Sam, who is still out there, waiting for him).

Mary: "Dean, get some rest!"

I think it's significant that both Mary and Sam repeatedly state that Dean needs to get some rest. Since they are both a representation of Dean’s subconsciousness, it is Dean himself, who expresses the notion that he is tired here. That ties back to Dean's admission in Croatoan that he is tired of this job, this life, this weight on his shoulders. While he picked himself up again after his downward spiral into depression at the beginning of the season and soldiered on regardless, it’s obvious that he simply covered up his bone-deep weariness with bravado, and I think that is very true to his character. It’s also very realistic - from a psychological point of view - considering that Sam and Dean weren’t allowed to catch a break for months now. The hits just keep on coming, leaving them no time to actually deal with their problems, and it’s predictable that eventually they will break under the burdens heaped upon them. That makes it all the more impressive that Dean decides to return to that life anyway, simply because he cares enough to accept the personal sacrifices. As Sam later points out to Dean, it's a sign of his immense inner strength that he resisted the temptation to let everything go. I find that admirable about the character as well. ♥

I also think it's very interesting that Dean picks up on the distress of the young girl, who is trapped in the djinn's lair with him, even though he is unconscious. On a subconscious level Dean obviously senses the girl and subsequently integrates her into his own dream world. However, since she isn't a genuine part of his own mind, her presence disrupts his fantasy, thus allowing him to find a way out of the djinn's hold over him. Anyway, when the brothers get the chance to save the girl in the end, Dean's desperate relief is palpable. I think it shows how much he needs the feeling that his actions result in something good, after all, that's the exact reason why he chooses to give his dream world up - so he is able to help people, like for example that innocent girl. I think that on some level - despite his self-esteem issues - Dean knows that what he does is important, otherwise his own mind wouldn't have provided him with this particular way out of the illusion. Saving people may be a burdensome responsibility for Dean at times, but it also gives him great satisfaction, and Dean lives in the area of conflict between these two poles.

Dean: "Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me just never - you know?"
Sam: "Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. They would have just stayed."

While Sam's real self doesn’t play a big role in this episode, Dean's subconscious version of his brother is just as fascinating and, as I already stated before, tells us a lot about the brotherly relationship as seen through Dean's eyes. However, I don't think Dean is accurate in his estimation of his brother's commitment to him, if anything his own insecurities stand in his way here. That's especially emphasised by the striking contrast between fantasy!Sam and his real counterpart. Sam's frantic worry when he finds his missing brother barely alive and his concern at seeing Dean's despondency are absolutely heart-warming. ♥ I love that Sam offers Dean his unconditional support and love, and that he doesn't hesitate to reassure his brother that he is happy to be close to him, despite the circumstances that lead them to that closeness - circumstances that entail painful sacrifices for Sam as well. I also think it's beautiful that Sam stresses "People are alive because of you!" He says you, not us, thus acknowledging that hunting has always been more of a calling for Dean, than it has been for him - even if his brother doubts said calling at the moment.

Talking about Sam, it’s interesting to note, that this episode wouldn't have worked nearly as well with Sam's character as it did with Dean's. Since Sam doesn’t live in this conflicting dichotomy of self-image and projected image - at least not to the same extent as Dean - the narrative tool of this episode, i.e. confronting the character with his own subconsciousness, wouldn't have had the same revealing effect. Sam's character is a lot more straightforward than Dean's, and I love that about him. That's not to say that an in depth exploration of Sam's character is pointless, quite the contrary, in fact. As I already pointed out in earlier reviews, it's unfortunate that the writers decided not to explore Sam's trauma after episodes like Heart or Born Under A Bad Sign. I simply think the approach to a Sam character episode would be different than the one used in What Is and What Should Never Be.

What else was noteworthy:

(1) I love how the writers mirror and at the same time contrast the opening scene from the Pilot here. The re-enactment of their playful fight scene is fabulous, and I love that while in the Pilot Dean comes to drag a reluctant Sam from his version of a normal life at Stanford to join him on the search for their father, he now decides to rather preserve Sam's innocence and safety for as long as possible and hunt the djinn down on his own. And still, in both cases Sam decides to come with him, even though he isn't particularly keen on doing so, but it's Dean and that's enough in the end. It's especially fascinating that despite the fact that subconsciously Dean envisages himself as estranged from his brother, he still can't imagine Sam not being at his side in the end, which clearly demonstrates just how much Sam has become an integral part of Dean’s life again. ♥

(2) There have been a lot of delicious little Dean moments to enjoy in the episode. For example, Dean’s love for food will never be not adorable and his delight over Mom’s homemade sandwiches is just heart-warming. Dean's satisfaction at mowing the lawn or his joy over the fact that the empty trunk of the Impala shows that he is a 'civilian' now are equally touching and poignant. A domestic and carefree Dean is just such a rare sight in Supernatural nowadays that it makes me happy and sad at the same time to watch him.

(3) The production team did a marvellous job in supporting the unusually mellow atmosphere of the episode. The rich, saturated colours and the brightly lit scenes in Dean's dream world build a sharp contrast to the standard cinematography of the show, which is dark and desaturated - a perfect reflection of Sam and Dean's harsh reality. And the use of 'What A Wonderful World' by The Ramones for the scene where Dean mows the lawn, has been a great music choice for the light-hearted moment as well.

(4) I have to say Jensen Ackles just blew this episode out of the water and beyond the moon with his performance. Jensen is a consistently strong actor, but an episode like What Is And What Should Never Be - which solely rests on his shoulders and asks for a wide range of complex emotions - just proves how exceptional he really is, especially in combination with such an excellent script. It's also equally fascinating and unsettling to see Jensen and Jared act opposite their usual dynamics as brothers, and I think they both do a great job at showing us a different Sam'n'Dean here.

In conclusion: What Is And What Should Never Be is an extraordinary character study and a fascinating emotional tour de force for Dean. It's certainly one of my favourite episodes of the season so far! Supernatural really never ceases to amaze me with the quality in writing for the characters! ♥

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Did You Know? Sam mentions that Dean slept with his prom date Rachel Nave, which is the name of one of the co-writers for the episode Bugs.