galathea: (Dean tired)
[personal profile] galathea

This week’s episode was written by John Shiban and deals mainly with the immediate effect that John’s death has on the brothers. It’s an intense emotional ride with an ending that left me aching for both boys, S2 certainly starts off with a punch. I’m jumping a bit back and forth here, I hope it’s not too confusing. *g*



It looks like Kripke&Co heard my prayer and will give us a kick-ass recap rock video at the beginning of every episode, which makes me oh so happy. *g* This week’s recap was especially intriguing with the end sequence of the song slowing down, like a slowly stopping heartbeat, showing us John’s sacrifice at the same time. Beautifully done!

Sam: "At least I am not afraid of flying!”
Dean: "Planes crash!”
Sam: "And apparently clowns kill!”


I think only Supernatural can get away with an episode about killer clowns! While I am not particularly afraid of clowns, I have to admit that I did find this clown version creepy. Interestingly the fact that clowns hide their 'true expression' behind an artificial, painted on smile makes a good metaphor for how the brothers are coping with John’s death in this episode, especially Dean. The MotW plot seemed a bit rushed, especially towards the end, but I guess that’s due to the fact that it was a rash distraction manoeuvre from Sam to do something instead of mulling over his guilt and grief, which wasn’t really working at all.

Working on that case just emphasized how much the brothers are affected by John’s loss. Hardly a minute goes by without them being tense, prodding at each other, throwing in faint attempts to be funny, inquisitive looks, helpless attempts to reach out. The usually well oiled Winchester team was fractured. Anyway, I loved this episode again for these brother moments, which were intense, chilling, scary and emotional. At my first viewing I was irritated with the episode though and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, so I watched it again and then realized what it was: Dean is completely off his game throughout the episode!

He is caught totally off guard by Jo, allowing her to get the drop on him. He is easily intimidated by the blind knife thrower, falls asleep while being on guard duty (which makes me think that Dean got little to no sleep during the past week, worrying, trying to guard his emotions off) and reaching out for Sam's help multiple times. He tries so hard to be his usual snarky and charming self and fails so miserably. Apparently, unlike Jensen, Dean is a very bad actor under stress. His smile is a touch too bright and his cockiness a tad too thick. He is not able to pull off sincere interaction with people most of the time, too bottled up in grief, anger and despair.

His inner walls are up and higher than ever, but he fails to bring his façade up all the way along with it, cracks showing everywhere, emphasizing just how much he is not all right, no matter how often he tries to tell Sam the opposite. So he decides to fix what he can fix and shuts everybody around him off by hiding under the hood of the Impala. He completely internalises his grief, deflecting Sam’s attempts to share by either sarcasm or simply stonewalling his brother. His whole behaviour towards Sam, or other well meaning people throughout the episode, a study in evasiveness.

Dean: "Now that he's dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry, Sam, but you can't. It's too little, too late.!”

While Dean is obviously unable to deal with his own emotions, he sharply cuts right through Sam’s newly discovered obedience to Dad’s wishes though, revealing it as an attempt to deal with his guilt towards his father. On several occasions Dean tries to push Sam into admitting that. While he backs down from a direct confrontation about the root of his brother’s sudden motivation to hunt, when he first addresses Sam’s eagerness to take the case in the car, and even later, when Sam admits to having second thoughts about his return to college, he finally snaps when Sam tries again to push Dean into opening up to him about his feelings in regard to John’s death.

Dean’s short outburst - accusing Sam of lying to himself - is brutal in its honesty, and it’s the first time that Dean deliberately uses words to hurt his little brother, although he can clearly see that he’s in distress. But for once Dean isn’t able to give Sam the reassurance and strength he needs from him, his own nerves are lying blank and he has no emotional reservoir to draw from at the moment.

I love though how he visibly berates himself silently just a moment later, when a deeply hurt Sam turns away from him with the excuse to call Ellen. And just as fast and intense as the confrontation took place, it is forgiven, although not forgotten, as Sam's admission that Dean is right at the end of the episode shows. Dean’s anger burns high but is usually short-lived. How he hesitantly stirs the conversation back to the case, using humour to diffuse the tension is beautiful, and in the end he calls his brother 'Sammy' and Sam smiles and easy as that they strike a truce again. ♥

Sam’s attempts to reach out to his brother, trying to get him to admit that he isn’t fine, aren’t quite as effective as Dean’s, mainly because he forces his brother onto the defensive by pushing too hard. While it is a constant push and pull between both of them throughout the episode, it's usually Sam who initiates the confrontation, with Dean pushing back and the situation escalating from there. Dean doesn’t react well to pressure and evades by going from defence to offence. He is completely unable to open up to his brother, which is kind of a step back from the openness he developed towards Sam at the end of last season, and I can’t help but wonder if John’s last words to Dean are responsible for that.

Dean’s inability to verbalise his emotional state builds up a tension within him that explodes in a sudden breakdown at the end of the episode, when he takes a crowbar to his beloved car over and over again, venting all his anger, frustration and grief towards the car he desperately tried to fix earlier. That’s heartbreaking on many different levels: Fixing the Impala wasn’t only about rebuilding the car, it was also about putting himself back together after his world shattered and left him just as damaged as his car. By destroying what he already accomplished, it becomes painfully clear, that Dean isn’t able to fix himself, his usual defence mechanisms are failing. :(

His violent outburst against his car is also of a high symbolic value, as the car is his connection to his past and to his father. It’s his home and his companion in the life he leads. So, his rage is also directed against John, against the life he chose, against his sacrifices and burdens, and with hindsight that’s Dean’s character arc overall in S2, summarised in one single, powerful moment. Jensen pulls angry!Dean off with so much intensity, it’s chilling, scary and makes me hurt for him so deeply. Dean’s blank expression after he exerted himself is devastating to watch.

Sam: "I miss him, man. And I feel guilty as hell. And I'm not all right. Not at all. But neither are you. That much I know!"

Sam on the other hand deals differently with his grief. As predicted he internally berates himself that his last moments with his father have been directed by anger and resentment, guilt heavily weighing him down. Unlike Dean, Sam has no practical task to distract him from the raw hurt, so he tries to cope by retroactively being the good son he thinks John expected him to be and the caring brother he wants to be for Dean. It’s interesting to see that while Sam was withdrawn after Jess' death and Dean had to get him out of his shell, he freely seeks out Dean’s company and dialogue with him after John’s death, while Dean is the one unable to share the grief; a role reversal for both characters. Sam seeks comfort, which Dean isn’t able to provide or even able to accept from Sam either.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see how Sam’s newly found, but clearly misdirected dedication to the hunt will play out further along the season. Denying himself his own dreams and goals in life for the memory of his father can’t ultimately be the right path for Sam. I hope when he gets past his first overwhelming grief and guilt, he remembers that John wanted for him to go to school back in Salvation and that he admitted in Dead Man’s Blood that hunting was never the life he wished for his sons.

Ellen: "Hey, I just run a saloon. But hunters have been known to pass through now and again. Including your dad a long time ago. John was like family once."

This episode we also saw the introduction of three new recurring characters. I think most of this introduction was handled very well. The focus still was pretty much solely on the Sam'n'Dean interaction, the Roadhouse didn’t take away from that so it was a welcomed addition. I liked the location/set they chose here, very high noon-ish, which is very fitting and emphasized by the excellent music as well. The whole atmosphere had a classic western appeal to it - tumbling weeds, outlaws, lone riders and all - which I enjoyed very much.

As far as characters go, I liked Ash a lot; he was funny, though a bit stereotypical and I liked his snarky interaction with Dean. I would really like to know, what kind of accent he had, he was a bit difficult to understand at times. They really managed to make this character tangible with a few strokes. Out of the three introduced characters, he developed the most personality in the few scenes he got.

As for Ellen, I liked her. The actress was very appealing and gave off some very warm and laid-back vibes, but with an edge beneath, which made me warm up to her very fast. We didn’t get to see much of her throughout the episode, so I look forward to a deeper exploration of that character. And just like everybody else I was of course wondering about her relation to John. I mean, we know that John was devoted to Mary, after 22 years he still wears his wedding ring and looks at it lovingly, but I can see him taking comfort in the warmth of another woman, without ever losing his dedication to his wife. It's interesting that Dean brushes the thought off instantly, while Sam is more curious and open to the idea. Just shows how much Dean is still stuck in the past with his picture of the perfect family, not able to move on from that and obviously having difficulties to imagine that John did.

It made me think about John again in this episode. Ellen mentions that John was like family back in the past and it makes me wonder, why John never mentioned this place and the people to Sam and Dean and why he never tried to bring them there. Ellen’s statement suggests that John was a frequent guest and it pains me to think that John left his small sons alone in a motel room when he was visiting the Roadhouse. While he obviously couldn’t take them on a hunt, it’s incomprehensible why he didn’t take them with him when he was with friends in a homey location. Thinking back to Sam’s allusions about John’s affinity to alcohol, maybe Ellen’s Roadhouse provided a place for him to swallow his sorrows with a drink without affecting his boys, sparing them the sight of their drunken and broken father. It makes me wish for more insight into John’s past and the aftermath of Mary’s death for him. A goldmine of untold Winchester stories!

This brings me to the last addition, which was the infamous Jo, who had fandom in an uproar throughout the summer, because Kripke stated that he brings her in as a love interest for Dean! I know, I tend to be overly protective of Dean, but I am not generally against seeing him in a relationship. I really wanted to like Jo, but so far she didn’t do it for me. First off, I don’t like that type of girl, looks-wise, too stylish and way too flashy. I didn’t like her hitting on an obviously grieving man she just met a couple of hours ago. It seemed inappropriate and insensitive. Not that Dean isn’t able to handle that situation, I just find it thoughtless from her side, which made her come off as a tad immature.

What I really did like was the short exchange they had at the table, when Dean openly told her it wasn’t the right time and place for a flirt. A very quiet and sympathetic little exchange, but then I was annoyed at her behaviour again at the end, shushing Sam away with an 'hinting' look and acting way too girly with Dean. I really hope the next impressions on her are a bit more serious and likeable, she really needs to improve a lot to be a match for Dean. But I am willing to cut her some slack.

Oh, I nearly forgot - a thought about the funeral scene: I couldn’t help it but my first thought was, is an open cremation in the field even allowed in the states? In Europe at least this would be impossible. Also, I just can’t see the hospital handing over John’s body to the boys, there are certain procedures to follow after the death of a patient, plus I would think that to issue a death certificate would lead to a deeper digging into the legal status of a certain Mister McGillicuddy, which should produce some problems for the boys.

So, it needed an initial suspense of disbelief to fully get into the moment for me. Sam being in tears and Dean quiet and petrified was very touching and a good visual for how the brother's react in this episode, with Sam letting his emotions out freely and Dean trying to reel them in. Dean lying to Sam about Dad’s last moment with him made me feel uneasy. Dammit, what did John tell him? How long can Dean lie to Sam about this? After all, he is not John, his relationshipt to Sam is different, more based on trust and loyalty. Wouldn’t they be better off if Sam knew about what may lie ahead of him? I can’t help but being afraid that this 'secret' is exploding in their faces at some point.

* * *

Did you know? Actually it is Jensen Ackles who is afraid of clowns, ever since he saw the tv mini-series 'It' based on the Stephen King novel about a killer clown.

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